Of Mourning and Desperate Love
by shippin-itlike-UPS
Summary: Remus is an empty shell, living each day in a hollow, dazed state. The death of his best friend has left him in denial and hopelessness. Everyone is worried, but only one can change it. Remus. Can Tonks help him find his way again? Angst Angst and more angst. Ronks one-shot


**AN: Angst. Angst. And more angst. With a good sized serving of Ronks. A preflect recipe to mourn the death of none other than Sirius black. I provide the story, you provide the chocolate and reviews. Thanks xx**

**Disclaimer: Do you really think Sirius would be dead if I owned these characters? Hell, the story would literally be based around a Ronks love story!**

**okay. That's enough ranting now enjoy.**

Death was anything but fair. But then, so was life. If life ended, then Death would swoop in. But there were fates worse than death. Grieving. Pain. Loss. Regret. Words and thoughts of a broken soul, a shattered mind. Death and loss can drive a person into despair. There was only one way out. Love. But love, true unbridled, innocent, hopeful love is hard to come by.

"Dumbledore would've been happy to know that there was a little more love in the world."

"She loves you. She doesn't care. Why can't you see that?"

"We all can see you love her too, so why won't you let yourself love her?"

"You're hurting her more by staying away and clearly it's hurting you too."

The words echoed like ghosts, haunting him in the day. When he is walking around during the day, there is a searing pain in his chest, an empty, gaping hole. That same hole that appeared on Halloween so many years prior. The same hole when his parents cut off all ties. The same hole that was his one get-away from whatever horrors the world revealed to him. Was that empty pit dangerous? Perhaps. But that didn't stop him from taking refuge. Different people have different ways of dealing with pain and hurt. His was to hide himself away from the rest of the world, untouchable, but also unbreakable.

When Sirius passed-no, died- that was the last straw. He had been one of the only people Remus had ever really let in. He was the last standing of four who truly knew Remus. And now he was gone.

Perhaps this is why Sirius' death was the hardest death of them all. Now Moony was completely alone. And no one could change that, not Harry, not Molly, and not Tonks. He sighed, running a hand through his missed hair, head down, throat tight. Tears welled in his eyes, and he allowed them to run freely. No one to see him now, no one to put a brave face on for. Yes, his brave face was just an act, as much a part of him as his scars or tweed coat.

A knock on the door disrupted the revelry, and eyes were wiped hurriedly. His hoarse voice managed to croak out, "come in." He winced at how weak and vulnerable he sounded.

In walked none other than the rainbow-haired goddess of his dreams. "Oh, Remus..." She breathed, so quietly he wondered whether he had imagined it.

"T-Tonks, how can I help you?" He inquired weakly. She winced. He had never called her Tonks, always Nymphadora, until he died.

"I'm here to help you, Remus Lupin. Look. I can see right through your facade. I know you're not okay. And I don't expect you to be. But you of all people should realize you can't bottle your emotions." She told him softly but firmly, keeping her warm eyes trained on him.

"I don't see why not. It's not like I haven't lived through pain and loss, Tonks." The bitterness in his tone surprised him.

"I know. I can only imagine what you've gone through. And you're right, you have done it before. But what was the price?" She paused to answer her own question. "You've made it before, but on your own. Now you have people, Harry, Molly, well...me. You can't go and lock yourself away. Because, because not only is it not fair to yourself, but it's not fair to us. Yes, I miss him too. We all do. But suffering and looking back at the things we could've changed, done differently? That isn't going to get us anywhere. And I know for a fact he wouldn't have wanted us to be so caught up in his death that we forgot to live.

"I know we're not as close as you and Sirius were, and I don't want to ever think I'm replacing him, but I do know you well enough to tell you to knock this off. I know you, Remus Lupin. And as much as you'd like to, you can't waste your life away pretending you're alright, and coming here to hide away. I-I won't let you."

Taking deep breaths, electric blue met chocolate brown. His mouth was wide open, astonished beyond words at her concern and caring for him. Nothing he could say would show her how he felt. So he didn't speak. He acted, his body moving with a forceful ease he didn't know he possessed, and he captured his lips with her own.

It was by no means chaste, as their first kiss had been. It conveyed what they were both feeling, as much as a relief and a way to truly breathe, for the first time since that day in the Department of Mysteries.

Both eyes closed, caught up in such a simple yet life-altering action. He kissed her, and she kissed back. When they paused to take a breath, brown and blue met again, and for the first time in a long time, the smallest of smiles lit the room, shining with a new light, a new force. Hope.

And in their hope-filled smiles, both saw an echo of a smile, a broad grin with a barking laugh. In their happiness they saw a smiling Sirius Black.

/fin.\


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